Thought on being a working Mother: Part 2, Sacrifice

I've been pondering the concept of sacrifice lately. A few weeks ago, at the opening of Arena's presentation of "The Arabian Nights", a coworker commented to me that she couldn't fathom how I do my job with a little one at home. That particular day, I was working an evening shift to manage the opening night reception activities. When we have events, I work an adjusted schedule so that I'm on site to manage logistics. Anyway, to be honest, I was initially a bit put off by the remark. While it was posed as a very innocent question, I tend to take these things critically - Am I a bad Mother because I work a non-traditional job? Does Cass suffer because I alter his routine when I work event shifts? Shouldn't all of my focus be on my child, instead of splintered between a career and home?

As parents, we walk a fine line when choosing what and how to sacrifice for our children. We surrender sleep, creature comforts, time. As mothers and women, we are inherently overly judgmental of ourselves, and of others. "I'm not as crafty as Friend A"; "My child doesn't say as many words as Coworker Z's child"; "My house isn't as clean as Friend X". On the flip side, there are the comparisons to our single or childless friends - where I can't vacation because it's inappropriate for a toddler, what clothes I can't wear because they'd be ruined by sticky fingers, the lack of time available to spend on former hobbies or activities. Sometimes our sacrifices are never good enough, our choices never selfless enough. It can be a tiresome rat race. And the media doesn't help. As I was writing this blog post, this article popped up on CNN, which I subsequently linked on Facebook. The content of the "article" really pissed me off. A good friend almost immediately piped in with a comment, and also said "But don't worry, because you're a great Mom".

And that's the thing - I know I am a good Mother - my loved, happy child is evidence of that daily. But, I suppose that very knowledge is what pisses me off about articles like the one above and the thoughts that crack my happy persona on occasion. I am a great Mom. I know a lot of really great Moms, but we're all extremely different. We come in all shapes and sizes and favors - we work from home, we head to the office each day, we serve our country and fight wars abroad, we travel on business and sacrifice our careers - we've all made different choices, we've all sacrificed differently - but we're all great Mothers to our children. There isn't a mold for Motherhood, or a prescribed way of operating that will ensure our children are happy, functioning members of society. And, the more society attempts to put parenthood in a corner, the more we (as a society) ultimately fail our children. If we, their own Mothers, can't teach them about diversity, sacrifice and the consequences (good and bad) that come from freedom of choice by our own example, then who will?