danger magnet

That Cass sure is addicted to danger. Name a dangerous object, any object...he wants it. If he shouldn't have it, he's attracted to it. If he REALLY shouldn't have it, he's already got his chubby 'lil hands on a stash.

Just this weekend, he's come across no less then 28219 dangerous items. Things like safety pins, a box of exacto blades, bottles of bleach water or other cleaning agents, cat poo, paint trays...he is such a boy. But he's also a sweetie, because every time he finds something dangerous and then actually manages to get his hands on it, he immediately brings it to me - he runs up with the item in his hands, and kinda throws it in my lap or the nearest flat surface, and then looks up at me ever so innocently as if to say "Here Mama, you left out the glue gun so I brought it to you."

Such a helpful little monkey :)

There are, of course, times when he doesn't immediately hand over the goods. I might find him under the kitchen table, or perhaps behind the green couch, being very, veeeery quiet. That's when I know something's up. Anyway, when I ask for the item and he hands it over (which he always does, bless his heart), you would think the world was ending - tears, screams, absolute sobbing. Sometimes I can't help but giggle - it's just too funny.

Kinda like this. I believe I had removed some pens from his possession.

But 25 seconds later, he's found an (hopefully) age-appropriate toy and is back to being my little giggling goon.

Ah, toddlerhood - so fickle, so fun :)

Grateful

As I listened to NPR on the way home this evening, I was acutely aware of the madness unfolding around the world. Riots in the Middle East. State Senators fleeing their responsibilities. Exponentially rising gas prices. The threat of a federal government shut down.

Madness and mayhem seem to be the adjectives of current events right now.

But in the midst of world crises, I am strangely at peace. Don't get me wrong - I care deeply about what is happening around me, and constantly have my finger on the global pulse. But, I now think back to my late teens and early twenties when, at times I lived and breathed the temperature of the global political climate so intensely that I forgot...to be grateful. I forgot about the beauty of mayhem. I forgot to drink in the sweet intensity of the happiness in my own life.

Amid chaos lives peace. The absolute truth of this strange dichotomy strikes me dumb at times.

So tonight, instead of being angstful, I am grateful.

I am grateful for a husband who truly is my best friend. Who challenges me, inspires me, and gives me confidence.
I am grateful for a son, who is the love of both of our lives. A boy who is smart, funny, curious and so full of joy that it sometimes takes my breath away.
I am grateful for creativity, and the lustful adventure of being wrapped up in its grasp.
I am grateful for parents who have let me test the boundaries of their love and patience in unusual ways, but who have always (eventually) embraced my non-conventional rebellions.
I am grateful for brothers who always, always, always make me shake my head and wonder - but who also never fail in their devotion to family and friendship.
I am grateful for my core group of friends who, even when separated from me by miles or life's milestones, will always be family, and only a phone call away.
And I am grateful for freedom, and knowing that I have the right to be a mother, a wife, a professional or all three, and knowing that only my own insecurities can prevent me from soaring in all three.

I am grateful. Always, I am grateful. Many moments and hours and days, I forget that I am - but tonight, I choose to remember.

World, what and who are you grateful for? Who and what do you choose to celebrate tonight?

In the kitchen no. 3 - Hearty Tomato Soup

It was 70 degrees in the DC area on Friday. Monday evening, it snowed.

Mother nature is toying with me.

The warm weather kicked my body into cravings of spring - fresh vegetables, a green herb garden and constant sunshine. But the threat of snow earlier in the week had me craving comfort foods. This hearty tomato soup is the perfect compromise.

Hearty Tomato Soup

(Flat Belly Fat - Olive Oil)

Active Time: 15 minutes

Total Time: 45 minutes

Serves 6

Ingredients:

- Olive oil, 1/2 cup

- Yellow onion, 1 medium, roughly chopped

- Fennel bulb, 1 whole, roughly chopped

- Fresh thyme, to taste (I used the equivalent of about 3 heaping tablespoons)

(If using dried thyme, about 1 heaping teaspoon is the equivalent)

- Garlic cloves, 4 large peeled and crushed

- Organic tomato paste, 1 6-ounce can

- Organic canned diced tomatos, 2 28-ounce cans

- Filtered water, 4 cups

(if I happen to have stock on hand, I will use part stock, and part water; I had chicken stock on hand this evening, and used about 1 cup of stock and 3 cups of water. I find that stock gives the soup a more complex flavor. I don't, however, use all stock - it can overpower the tomatoes). 

- Dried basil, a pinch

- Kosher salt, to taste

- Cracked black pepper, to taste

- Kosher salt, to taste

- Cayenne pepper, a pinch (optional)

- Balsamic vinegar, 2 tablespoons

- Heavy cream, one tablespoon per serving (optional)

1. Heat 1/2 cup olive oil in a large soup pot. Roughly chop the onion and fennel bulb and add to the olive oil. Sauté over medium heat until softened and the edges are caramelized, about 10 minutes.

2. Towards the end of the vegetable cooking, toss in a bundle of fresh thyme and 4 crushed garlic cloves.

3. Add the entire can of tomato paste to the vegetables. Mix thoroughly. Add the two cans of diced tomatoes, water/stock, basil, salt, pepper, and cayenne. Bring to a boil. Reduce to low heat and simmer, partially uncovered, for 30 minutes until reduced by about 1/3, stirring occasionally.

4. Add the balsamic vinegar to the soup; if you prefer a sweeter soup, add the balsamic at the beginning of the simmering process (with the tomatoes) to give the sugars sufficient time to reduce and sweeten.

5. Puree the soup with a stick blender. If you don't have a stick blender, you can puree in small batches in your food processor or regular blender, but allow it to cool first.

6. Pour into soup bowls, garnish with heavy cream and fresh thyme. We made this a complete meal by adding fresh-baked French bread, and a spinach salad, with orange slices, red pepper and English cucumber.

Even the goobs enjoyed it. He looks like such a big kid in this photo. Thank goodness it's just the angle -  he's still just a little squish :) I can easily hang onto this age a bit longer...

living, loving, and saving the arts

In the Kitchen no. 2 - Muhammara, and the Flat Belly Diet

In general, I am so not a fan of fad diets - I've tried a few, but never stuck with one. They are exactly what they promise to be, and that just doesn't fly with my foodie palate.

A few months ago, however, I ran across the Flat Belly Diet, created by Prevention Magazine. It's based on a Mediterranean diet with an emphasis on monounsaturated fats - olives, avocado, nuts and seeds, dark chocolate, and select oils.

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner folks.

You can explore the science behind the plan on your own time, but I will say that as a former student of biology and macro-nutrition, I find the research and methodology behind the diet to be very sound. And I get to each chocolate every day. Needless to say, after browsing through the book over a latte at Borders, I immediately purchased it, along with the companion cookbook.

Muhammara is the perfect example of the kind of foods I get to consume on this diet. It's packed with nutrients and antioxidants, and is filling enough to have for breakfast or an afternoon snack.

Muhammara
Active Time: 20 minutes; Inactive Time: 1 hour
Six servings
Hint: if you're short on time, use pre-prepared roasted red peppers; one 8-ounce jar is the equivalent. 

- red bell peppers, 3 whole
- olive oil, 1 tablespoon plus 1/4 cup
- walnuts, 2 cups
- garlic, 4 large cloves
- lemon, 1 whole
- cumin, 1 teaspoon
- red pepper flakes, 1/2 teaspoon
- kosher salt, 1 teaspoon
- 1/2 cup pomegranate syrup*

*I make a large batch of pomegranate syrup a few times a year. I buy a 32-ounce bottle of pomegranate juice from Trader Joe's, pour it all into a sauce pan, bring it to a boil and let simmer until reduced to about a cup.  It keeps well in the fridge. I use the syrup for muhammara, add it to smoothies and mix it with a little olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette for salad dressing. You can also purchase syrup from stores like Whole Foods - if doing so, use only 1/4 cup, as store-bought syrup is much thicker and sweeter.

1. Preheat oven to 400

2. Place the walnuts on a baking sheet and bake until toasted (10 minutes)

3. Halve the peppers, remove the seeds and stem and place skin side up on a baking sheet. Drizzle with about 1 tablespoon of olive oil and rub into the skin. Roast at 400 until the skin is black, bubbling and pulling away from the meat (50 minutes).

4. Remove the peppers from the oven and immediately cover with a bowl to allow them to steam for about 15 minutes (this will loosen the skins). Peel the skins from peppers.

5. Meanwhile, make garlic oil. Heat 1/4 cup of olive oil over medium high heat; add the garlic and sauté until slightly browned (1-2 minutes).

6. In a food processor, add the walnuts, roasted red peppers, garlic cloves and oil, the juice of one lemon, cumin, red pepper flakes and salt. Puree until smooth. 

Eat with pita and veggies or slather on a sandwich with cucumber, bell peppers, muenster and sprouts. Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Forgiveness

I've been holding a grudge for quite some time now. I have a vague idea of where the rift began, and then how it snowballed. In the grand scheme of things, the transgression isn't really a big deal. But in the small scheme of friendships, it slowly became the proverbial pink elephant.


I had actually forgotten about it for awhile. But in the last few weeks, this nasty little pocket of bitterness smacked me in the face, and now I can't seem to shrug it off.

I can't seem to forgive, or even forget. And it sucks.

When I was in college I took yoga for one semester. At the end of each class, the teacher would instruct us to lie down and lead us through a series of relaxation exercises. We would finish up with a visualization technique - she would ask us to take the tension from our toes, our legs, our fingers, arms, and neck, and to stuff it all into a bubble, to hold the bubble in our hands, and then release it into the universe.

You chuckle at me, I know. And at the time, I did too. But over the years, I've tried this technique with modest success. And I'm trying it again tonight.

I am learning, all the time I am learning. Lately, I am learning that forgiveness has nothing to do with the transgressor. It is a choice that only the transgressed can make. And so my grudge is going into a bubble, and I'm releasing it into the universe. The words are proof to me that I've done so - that I've released the disappointment, and bitterness, and discontent; proof of my desire for a fresh start, a blank slate. And it's a reminder of the promise I am making to myself, and to the universe, to let go and to forgive. 

Fun with color

See the stack of bold solids on the right?

They started becoming this earlier this morning....

I like this block a lot. I might even love it.

Based on Denyse Schmidt's "Drunk Love in a Log Cabin"...obviously ;)

Happiest No. 2

Sunny bright happy curtains in the kitchen. We have a local fabric store, G Street Fabrics, that has a massive selection of upholstery and curtain facbrics. Typically I find the majority of their selection to be too "safe" for my taste, but I do like to rummage through the $5 stacks for backdrops on photo shoots, or just general time passing. A few weeks ago I found this lovely, happy print and zipped up some curtains for the sliding glass doors. I will share that I cheated - the long edges are sill selvages, and not true seams. You can't tell the difference now that they're hung. Whatever - kid only naps once a day, you do whatcha gotta do. The rest of the kitchen is still a work in progress, and that progress is s.l.o.w. 

 They drop completely to the floor and I heart them. Next up will be sheers for the back wall o'windows. Sewing sheers is fun, fun! NOT.

Cameron and the goop on Superbowl Sunday. I believe Cam was mimicking Cass at this particular moment. It's a pretty dead-on impersonation, if you ask me - but you didn't, so I'll just share my opinion anyway. Uncle Sean gave Cass a Steeler's hoodie for his first Christmas, and he wore it with pride.

A (whispers to herself) finished living room. At least for now. There are a few tweaks here and there, but it's pretty close to complete.

A few of Cameron's earliest framed photos. Pinwheels from our wedding. 

Part of my vintage jar collection.

 My handmade wedding bouquet, based on a kit purchased from Princess Lasertron.

The child has learned to crawl down, and up, the steps now. He goes down the stairs veeeery carefully, and it's hilarious. 

 "I did it all by myself Mama." Bless his little heart. 

These litte stacks of lovelies will be made into something even lovelier. I am waiting on a delivery from Sew Fresh Fabrics, and then a new storm of crafting shall commence. Or, a very, very slow drizzle of crafting. Cuz ya know, it's not like I have other things to do - laundry and taxes and meals to cook and contracts to write. Nah, I think I'd rather play with fabrics and patterns all day.

Thought on being a working Mother: Part 2, Sacrifice

I've been pondering the concept of sacrifice lately. A few weeks ago, at the opening of Arena's presentation of "The Arabian Nights", a coworker commented to me that she couldn't fathom how I do my job with a little one at home. That particular day, I was working an evening shift to manage the opening night reception activities. When we have events, I work an adjusted schedule so that I'm on site to manage logistics. Anyway, to be honest, I was initially a bit put off by the remark. While it was posed as a very innocent question, I tend to take these things critically - Am I a bad Mother because I work a non-traditional job? Does Cass suffer because I alter his routine when I work event shifts? Shouldn't all of my focus be on my child, instead of splintered between a career and home?

As parents, we walk a fine line when choosing what and how to sacrifice for our children. We surrender sleep, creature comforts, time. As mothers and women, we are inherently overly judgmental of ourselves, and of others. "I'm not as crafty as Friend A"; "My child doesn't say as many words as Coworker Z's child"; "My house isn't as clean as Friend X". On the flip side, there are the comparisons to our single or childless friends - where I can't vacation because it's inappropriate for a toddler, what clothes I can't wear because they'd be ruined by sticky fingers, the lack of time available to spend on former hobbies or activities. Sometimes our sacrifices are never good enough, our choices never selfless enough. It can be a tiresome rat race. And the media doesn't help. As I was writing this blog post, this article popped up on CNN, which I subsequently linked on Facebook. The content of the "article" really pissed me off. A good friend almost immediately piped in with a comment, and also said "But don't worry, because you're a great Mom".

And that's the thing - I know I am a good Mother - my loved, happy child is evidence of that daily. But, I suppose that very knowledge is what pisses me off about articles like the one above and the thoughts that crack my happy persona on occasion. I am a great Mom. I know a lot of really great Moms, but we're all extremely different. We come in all shapes and sizes and favors - we work from home, we head to the office each day, we serve our country and fight wars abroad, we travel on business and sacrifice our careers - we've all made different choices, we've all sacrificed differently - but we're all great Mothers to our children. There isn't a mold for Motherhood, or a prescribed way of operating that will ensure our children are happy, functioning members of society. And, the more society attempts to put parenthood in a corner, the more we (as a society) ultimately fail our children. If we, their own Mothers, can't teach them about diversity, sacrifice and the consequences (good and bad) that come from freedom of choice by our own example, then who will?

In the Kitchen No. 1 - Savory Bread Pudding

If you know thismuch about me, you know that food is one of my few great loves. When I was on maternity leave, I started sharpening my gourmet cooking skills - I was actually had kind of a creepy(?) obsession with it, but that's for another posts (<<--- whispers to herself "damn hormones...."). Going back to work took a bit of a toll on gourmet nights in the Whitman kitchen, but I still try to cook fresh, from-scratch meals most nights. I have a few staples that we all love, and rely heavily on Food and Wine magazine and its various recommended books. Lately I've been experimenting with adapting gourmet food to weeknight cooking (i.e., quick meals).

The recipe this is based on calls for a ton of prep work, and a very long cooking period. Total investment, 'bout 3 hours (I know, I've made it as directed). So I swapped out a few things, and spent the cook time bathing and putting the baby goo to bed. The result? A semi-gourmet meal in about half the time. It does seem like a lot of work for a weeknight, and I think next time I'm going to try a savory bread pudding in the crockpot. That shall be an "experiment" for sure...

Artichoke and Sweet Onion Bread Pudding*

(loosely based on/inspired by Thomas Keller's "Leek Bread Pudding" in Ad Hoc at Home; oh, and by the way, Keller is a freakin' genius)

Ingredients:

1 12-oz bag of frozen artichokes

1 large sweet onion

4 tablespoons of unsalted butter

1 loaf of rustic bread, cubed (roughly 8 cups)

3 eggs

3 cups milk

3 cups heavy cream

6 ounces fontina cheese, grated

a pinch of nutmeg

pepper to taste
salt to taste

dried basil to taste

fresh chives, 1/4 cup

*This recipe is delicious. This recipe is NOT healthy. But did I mention that it's delicious?

 1. Heat the oven to 450. Sautee frozen artichoke hearts over medium heat until they are slightly softened and browned.

 2. Meanwhile, roughly dice one large sweet or white onion into 1" pieces.

3. Once the artichoke hearts are browned and softened, sprinkle with sea salt and add four tablespoons of butter. Allow the butter to melt and emulsify with the juices from the artichokes. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is softened.

 4. While the onions cook, dice up the bread into 1" chunks. I like to use "Tuscan Pane" from Trader Joe's - it's hearty with a ton of flavor, but comes presliced, which makes the cutting process super quick. Place the bread cubes on a baking sheet and cook until golden brown and toasty (about 25 minutes). Remove from the oven and reduce the heat to 350.

5. Whisk the 3 eggs slightly, then add 3 cups of milk (fat content is your choice - we typically drink 1%, so that's what I used) and 3 cups of heavy cream and whisk completely. Add a touch of nutmeg, dried basil to taste (I used about a teaspoon), fresh ground pepper  to taste and chopped fresh chives. (When cooking, I rarely measure - I almost always eyeball, and it's usually not a problem. Baking is another issue...) 

 6. Toss the toasted cubed bread and cooked artichokes and onions in a large bowl.

 7. Shred the Fontina.

8. In a large casserole dish, layer the bread/artichoke mixture with the shredded cheese (a la lasagna) and then pour the custard (milk/egg mixture) over the layers. Allow to soak for 20 minutes until the bread has absorbed most of the custard. Bake at 350 for an hour and a half.

The verdict. This recipe was quite tasty. We ate it as an entree with a quick tossed salad, and it paired well with a Chardonnay from Courtney Benham (CA). The richness of the bread pudding really cut through the oak (which I admittedly don't always appreciate). The meal time took about 2 hours total, though only 25 or so minutes of prep time - I was able to get Cass settled while it cooked, but I think next time we'll save this one for a weekend. I like my 40 minute meals from fridge to table. Next time I'll feature something faster and healthier.